MY PORNO LIFE

Posts Tagged ‘Awkward Porn’

Janice Dickinson nude

Oh my god. My brain just can not process this picture right now. I don’t know if Janice Dickinson posing nude is really “awkward” or just plain “disturbing”. My gut tells me the latter but since I don’t have a tag for that I will just label it as the former. My favorite part of the whole thing is that her nipples are pointing in two different directions kinda like a chameleon’s eyes looking for insects to eat. You wanna know the worst thing though? I’m still gonna jerk off to this pic. Whomp whomp whoooomp :-/

Picture courtesy of Drunken Stepfather

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I really want to be jerking off to those huge knockers popping out of her top but I can’t stop pondering that horrible face she is making. Way to ruin a perfectly good nip-slip GIF lady. It looks like you are trying to hold in a fart as well as your sloppy boobs.

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I really don’t want a lit cigarette anywhere near my bare cock. Thanks.

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I’m not really sure how a chick can get off by grinding on a balloon or who would actually find this appealing but here it is. It’s actually remarkable that Pain didn’t pop said balloon with her pierced clit. Now that takes some talent!

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Rachel Sexton

Those of you that grew up in the 80s might remember the Saturday morning cartoon Rainbow Brite – It featured some sort of impish girl riding a unicorn across a rainbow presumably to fight a pathetic antagonist thought up by a group of 40 year old dudes in suits. I couldn’t tell you a damn thing about it because I was watcing G.I.Joe and Transformers but I do remember the commercials for her show and the toys so at the very least I am aware that Rainbow Brite existed. I’m filing this one under Awkward Porn because while Rachel Sexton is certainly a hot piece of ass it makes me feel weird to write “sexy” in the same sentence as “Rainbow Brite“.

Click here to see more free pics of Rachel Sexton as Rainbow Brite

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Cassandra bringing sexy back for MC-Nudes

In order to bring sexy back a person has to be properly prepared for what is about to be unleashed lest said sexy knocks them off their feet. As demonstrated by Cassandra the best way to prepare for the sexy is to plant your feet firmly on the ground with a wide stance, not unlike a football player, then stick out your ass as far as you can as it is the primary conduit for the changeling of the sexy. Now that she is ready with a low center of gravity Cassandra can let loose with all the sexy she wants without the fear of losing her balance and thus prematurely ending the sexy before it is able to come to fruition.

Click here to see if Cassandra brings the sexy back

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Sofie for Met-Art

Here’s a perfect example of a pose that probably worked better on paper than it did in execution. I’m sure the photographer was talking to Sofie and found out that she studies ballet and can do all sorts of ballerina poses. Of course he thought “Ballerinas are hot, Sofie is hot, the location is hot – why not have her do some poses on this log”. See a log isn’t a gym and there is a reason you don’t see models pose like this for nude shoots. Awkward.

Click here to see non-awkward pics of Sofie for Met-Art

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Awkward Porn: Some people shouldn't be photographed...ever

I do not subscribe to the belief that all people are beautiful in their own way. I think there are hot people and there are ugly people and I should not be made to look at ugly people. Take this lady for example – she should never (and I really mean never ever in a million fucking years) be in front of a camera in any state of dress or undress. The fact that the webmaster thought she was acceptable for the website is appalling. BTW is it just me or does she look like Jabba The Hutt? Seriously, I’m not making a fat joke or anything I think she has a slight case of “Jabba face”.

Click here to see more pics if you dare

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Awkward Porn - Silvie for Hegre-Art

I know some people have a thing for hairy vagina’s, not me though, but that’s not why this pic is in Awkward Porn. When a girl spreads her legs apart like she is ready for her physical and smiles slyly it puts me on edge, like it’s a trap or something. I’m just waiting for her to start peeing the moment I put my face down there like one of those stupid fake flower lapel gags the Joker is always using – hopefully she doesn’t actually pee acid though.

Click here to see Silvie for Hegre-Art

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Awkward Porn: I knight thee Retard Face

This chick has, hands down the most unattractive facial expression ever captured on film. To add insult to injury I am not sure why the dude is tapping her tit with his penis. I can only assume he is knighting her with it. Ergo the title of the post “I knight thee Retard Face”. Late.

Click here to see Ally Ann get knighted by some dude’s dick

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