MY PORNO LIFE

Archive for the ‘WTF’ Category

So here’s the deal, JoshGirls just features naked chicks doing some sort of excercise that makes their boobs flop around and the whole thing is video taped in front of a dull grey background. That’s all there is to it. Seriously. The website is so hyper-niche that I don’t think there is even a name for it. But hey, it’s something different that stands out in a sea of average porn so you gotta give him that. Also I think JoshGirls might be mentioned on Howard Stern so there you go, someone noticed the website.

Click here to see more girls exercising naked at JoshGirls

Kirsten fisting herself for FTV Girls

Why pay to go to med school to study anatomy when you can just take a peek inside Kirsten’s vagina for free? I now know where babies come from. Thanks FTV Girls! Fisting isn’t always my cup of tea but sometimes I want to see a girl go wrist deep into her vag-hole just for the fun of it. She gets bonus points too if she has a big old smile on her face whilst doing it like Kirsten does. I wonder if girls get paid more to fist themselves and how do you do a casting call for it? Does she just show up and say “Look what I can do” and the photographer just goes with it? So many questions and so few answers. Oh well, as long as I can sit back and enjoy the view of Kirsten’s uterus from the comfort of my room I won’t really complain about it.

Click here to see what else Kirsten does with her whole fist

Daniell FTV

St. Patrick’s Day may have come and gone but it’s never too late to enjoy a bottle of tasty Guinness…or insert it into your vagina. I don’t think I will be drinking out of that particular bottle after Danielle is done with it but I sure don’t mind watching. She almost inserts the whole thing deep inside her pussy – pretty impressive if you ask me. I’m not sure why they didn’t release this set before St. Patty’s day as it would have been an obvious choice to put on My Porno Life. Better late then never I guess. I do enjoy the  ”beer wench” costume with her milky melons spilling out of the top. It’s like when you go to the Renaissance Festival and all these fat chicks are walking around with their massive boobs exploding out of ye olde tops and getting hit on by skinny pale guys with acne – except Danielle is actually hot and probably wouldn’t be caught dead at RenFest. I’ve been once and will never go again unless I’m stoned. Weed makes everything better.

Click here to see what else Danielle does with that Guinness bottle

CLICK HERE to watch the video - Fuckable Lola for DryHumping.net

Well just when you think you have seen it all someone comes up with a new ridiculous fetish to make a porn site with. I think the last time I dry humped anything was…well a week ago but that’s a whole other story.  DryHumping features mostly Lola (from Fuckable Lola) humping anything she can get her hands on – including the air itself. There are some other chicks thrown in the mix for variety but none of them are as hot as her. Watch these ladies hump aeverything from blowup dolls to their beds while wearing skimpy outfits and bikinis. I really don’t have anything else to say about DryHumping and by now you have either decided to watch the video or roll your eyes and move on.

Click here to watch the video of Fuckable Lola dry humping an inflatable dolphin

Petite Solo Girl Jacynth

I was going to write something about how unfortunate Jacynth looks and how it confuses and angers me that someone would think she would make a good solo model but my girlfriend wants me to be nice so I spent 10 minutes staring at this picture to see if any aspect of her made my penis move. The good news is my cock shifted slightly, the bad news is I think it was because I sneezed. Look, I don’t think she is the ugliest girl in the world and I am sure someone somewhere out there likes her but in my defense when the webmaster sent out the “announcement” for Jacynth’s new site here’s what I opened up my email to see…

You need to warn a motherfucker if you are going to include an image like that in an email especially if said motherfucker is drinking their morning coffee and eating breakfast. Like Lando Calrissian in Empire Strikes Back, “It’s not my fault!” that I don’t like Jacynth – I had a bad first impression and now I can’t shake the feeling of fear whenever I look at her.

See baby, that wasn’t too mean was it?

Click here to see more of Jacynth if you want to but I am not forcing you

Christine for FTV Girls

“What’s the definition of ‘vagina’? The box the penis comes in! ” I guess in this case it’s “The box Christine’s panties come in”. So Christine can fill her pussy with panties and then hang a shoe from them. Is that supposed to be some sort of a talent? Does she put that on her resume? I’m sure that I could full my ass with my own underwear and hang a shoe from it too but I really wouldn’t tell anyone about it. If you are reading my blog than you have probably seen your fair share of porn and, like me, you have seen chicks do this before. My question is – is a girl stuffing her own panties into her box a fetish?

Click here to see more of Christine’s “talent” for FTV Girls

Mally Martin

“Mmmphhhrrrr  oohhhgggg mmmrrrrphhhhmmm” Yea, that’s what I think when I see this picture. I love Mallow Martin, I think she is a mega hottie and cool as shit cause she plays video games but come on, this is not sexy at all. Once you fellaysh a cucumber on camera you stop being the cute girl-next-door and you enter the realm of porn-girl. It kinda ruins Malloy’s allure for me but I know some people will love pics like this. Hey, variety is the spice of life right?

Click here to see Malloy Martin fellaysh a cucumber

Lola is Dancerbating

I have never heard of “Dancerbating” before in my life but my girlfriend has been obsesed with this site since she first saw it. It’s become like a thing now. She’ll say, “Yea baby dancerbate for me” and I really have no clue how to respond to that. Here’s the low down. Apparently some people thought “We like to watch girls masturbate and we like to watch girls dance so what would be better than putting the two of them together and produce Dancerbating.com? Nothing that’s what. Brilliant!” Well, I have to admit it’s pretty hot but then again I like putting chocolate on bacon (it’s good damn it!!) so I’ll let you be the judge.

Click here to see girls dancing and masturbating…Dancerbating!

Marina for Met-Art

I’m sorry, but this has to be one of the most un-flattering photos I have ever seen in my life. What makes it especially NOT sexy is that it comes from Met-Art. Imagine my surprise while looking through all the hot new models and photo sets and then I see this starring at me as if to say “Look at my special talent, isn’t it great?” I hate to be the one to break it to you but you look like a retard and your parents should never have encouraged you to model. Is that too blunt? Maybe the heat is making me cranky. The sad thing is she’s actually pretty cute if you can look past her, ummmmm, butt hole.

Click here to see Marina’s other special talents

Download this Movie from Hustler

Wow, where did this bitch get her tits done cause those nipples are fucked up!