MY PORNO LIFE

Archive for the ‘Movies’ Category

Neytiri from Avatar

I was watching James Cameron’s interview on Attack of the Show last night and he said that one of his criteria when designing Neytiri for Avatar was that “she had to be BLANK-able”. I don’t know about you but I would BLANK the BLANK out of her! I would stick my BLANK in her BLANK then bust a mad BLANK all up in there creating a whole new hybrid species of BLANK.

Unfortunately I won’t be able to see Avatar tonight because my ass will be flying into MD where everyone is freaking out about the foot of snow we are supposed to be getting tonight. BLANK!

Hollow Man

I’m watching a little Hollow Man right now. Remember Hollow Man? It came out in the 90’s or something (I really don’t feel like looking it up on IMDB…how’s that for fact checking huh?) and it featured Kevin Bacon as a mad scientist who turned himself invisible so he could go around fondling women whilst they sleep. That pretty much sums up the whole movie. But seriously, what would you do if you could turn invisible? You know what you would do and don’t try to deny it cause I’m like the Santa Claus of porn (he know’s what you jerk off to)…You would do exacly what pervo Bacon did, you’d root the corpse. Bam!

Kim Dickens in Hollow Man

Tron Legacy

Tron was one of my favorite movies growing up and the sequel looks to be just as ground breaking and visually amazing as the original. This is the HD teaser (and tech demo so these scenes might not be in the final movie) that was shown exclusively at San Diego Comic Con 2008 but is only now getting an official release. I saw the hand held cam bootleg of the footage last year but holy shit this blew me away.

Click here to see the Tron Legacy HD trailer.

Logan's Run

So I decided to rent Logan’s Run on Netflix because I haven’t seen it since I was a kid and I was kinda in the mood for some cheesy sci-fi action. Boy was I in for a treat. So many natural 70’s bra-less tits flopping and running around! I tell you nothing beats non-porn for the best porn, you have no clue when the sex scene is coming or when the boobs are gonna pop out.  It’s exciting! Or maybe I am just so jaded by porn to the point where I can only get off to “real” movies. I digress; Check out Logan’s Run with Michael York and Jenny Agutter if you enjoy nihilistic sci-fi 70’s movie with a dash of exposed sweater meat.

Logan's Run

Jessica Rabbit by REIQ

Hey, remember when Jessica Rabbit was the hottest chick ever? Hell even my dad was drooling over her! It was a really weird time for me because I was pretty young (10 to be exact) when Who Framed Roger Rabbit came out but I was old enough to know that having a cartoon make my penis move was an exercise in futility. A I got older I learned to accept my cartoon fetish but at the time all I knew was that she was a mega hottie the likes of which I had never seen. I have been a fan of REIQ for a while and he never ceases to amazing me with his awesome talent. He totally nails Jessica Rabbit’s sex appeal while giving her a modern look. If you want to check out more of REIQ’s amazing artwork click here.

Sasha Grey is a slutty Vulcan

“Sasha Grey plays a Vulcan stricken with the “sickness”. The only way she can find satisfaction is to fuck and Captain Kirk is more then happy to oblige!” Who would have thought that Star Trek would make such awesome and logical porn? To see more intergalactic sex click here.

Jada Fire as Uhura

While growing up I was more a of Star Wars fan but I still watched a lot of Star Trek and I always had a thing for Nichelle Nichols, the original Uhura. When I heard Hustler was doing a parody of the original series I couldn’t wait to see who they got to play Uhura…and was very pleased to see Jada Fire take the coveted position. I’ve been a fan of hers for years and now I get to watch her take Kirk and Spock to the final frontier (sorry, that was corny). Thank you Hustler. If you want to see more then click here.

It’s fitting that my first post is also the first memory I have of exposed breasts. Trading Places came out in 1983 so I was a ripe young age of 5 when I saw the movie…or at least parts of it. It was the second movie being shown at a drive-in double feature. I don’t remember what the first movie was but I imagine it was something for the kids while this movie was intended for the parents. I remember falling asleep in the back seat of the car and then waking up during the party scene (where Eddie Murphy invites all of his friends over to his “new place” but it gets out of hand) and the first thing I see is this:

Trading Places

What a sight to behold…tits! I don’t even think my brain was able to process it but boy was it exciting. In retrospect she’s kinda weird looking (watch the scene and look at how she dances, you’ll laugh your ass off) but it burned a permanent image in my brain as to what a pair of boobs look like in motion…which I wouldn’t see again for years!